Ratchet Rapunzel
by Stupid Froggy
Summary: X wants a bedtime story Zero gives it to him. Don't read this if your not about that life. R&R.


"Zero tell me a story" X said as he snuggled into the covers with a pleading face. Zero sighed.

"X aren't you a bit old for that?" Zero asked in response. X just made a face of disapproval.

"Zero don't be so narrow-minded. Anyone can enjoy a good story." X stated. Zero sighed once more giving in.

"Alright. Fine. What do you want it to be about anyways?" Zero asked X. X thought for a second.

"A princess. With long blonde hair a pink dress." X said. Zero chuckled.

"Seriously?" Zero asked. X just nodded.

"Pffft. Alright." Zero responded. Zero thought about how he was going to tell the story. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Zero got up from the bed to answer it. It was Axl.

"Bro. Did I miss the story?" Axl asked. Zero just blinked in confusion. It was 4:37 am in the fucking morning. Zero didn't want those Axl problems this early in the morning. He had half the nerve to just close and lock the door but reluctantly he let Axl in. Axl ran inside and plopped in the bed right next to X. X smiled. Zero knew instantly this would be a long rest of the night practically morning. That thought made him think of how tiring the day was. Stupid maverick attack after maverick attack. Shit was irritating. Now after coming home and getting all that oil crap from the mavericks off his armor. X demands a story...and when X wants something he normally gets it. His cuteness will be the death of Zero.

"So Zero... I hear this story is about a pink princess with long blonde hair. Make her name Zero." Axl suggested. Zero flinched at the thought.

"Hell no." Zero responded.

"Why?...it's just a story. No need to get defensive Zero." X said.

"Yeah Zero, what? Do you have masculinity problems or something?"

"Ugh fine. I'm starting the story." Zero said in response.

"Wait...make it ghetto." Axl said.

"How ghetto is the question..." X said.

"On a scale of one to ratchet how hood are we talking?" Zero asked.

"I'm talking bout doing a drive by on a bike ratchet." Axl said. X and Zero laughed at the thought.

"I'm talking about shooting a man in the foot cause he took your kool-aid ratchet." X responded.

"That...is some serious ratchetness." Zero said processing what he'd just heard.

"Make it happen I don't have all night." Axl said snuggling into the covers more. Zero started the story.

"Once opon a time back in the day. Up in the hood there was a bad bitch named Zero. She was also knowns as twirk cutie naynay. She was fine. Gurl was princess of all the bloods. And a twirk queen. Making panties drop. Her daddy was the hoodest nigga out there. Ain't no body want those problems. So no one ever tried make her their baby mama...But she had a secret..." Zero started until suddenly interrupted by X and Axl.

"SHE'S A MAN~!" X and Axl yelled out together. Zero laughed.

"Alright. She was a man. Also one of the most cray cray thugs out there. Her dad never let her go to the turn up parties in fear of being found out and getting pregnant. Plus if the rest of the hood niggas found out that the OG's daughter was a cross-dressing ghetto fabulous queen no one would respect him. So he did his best to keep her locked tight. So every time there was a hype party he would lock her in her room and say,

"Bitch bet not go out this room or you gone been feeling the back of my hand." His dad said."

"Mane nigga fuck that TURN UP. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT." Zero shouted out. The her daddy gave her the pimp hand and he sat the fuck down."

"Zero then cried manly tears. He spoke...:

"Lawd...Jesus...help my ratchet ass find a man. Amen." Zero said. Then out of nowhere he got the holy ghost and church music appeared out of nowhere. Shit got real. Then suddenly there was a pretty light that came in the room. Zero was scared so he got his gat out and started shooting.

"BRO BRO CHILL IT'S ME. Your fairy god mother." The fairy man lady woman said. Zero still kept shooting. He killed it. Zero threw the dead body at the window. It's not like anyone was going to call the police. They never came to the hood. Zero sat and sighed. So bored with no one to socialize with he got up and got and decided to get up and get all G'd up so he could take pictures to put on instagram. Zero put on his frilly pink dress and his ridiculously high hills and went in the bathroom and posed with a kissy face and took a picture. After taking about 17 of them he posted all of them on instagram and waited for all the thirsty niggas to like that shit. Suddenly there was a gun sound outside.

"OH SHIT THEY SHOOTIN." Zero being the nosey ghetto fabulous person he was looked out the window. He saw the the cutest most adorable guy he's ever seen. The thirst was real. Zero stuffed his shirt with toilet paper and opened his window and hollered at the dude.

"HEY SEXY WHERE YOU GOING BOI?" Zero shouted at the window. The dude looked up and blushed. He yelled back.

"SHAWTY WAS YO NAME?" The dude asked.

"MY NAME ZERO~! BUT BABY YOU CAN CALL ME TWIRK CUTIE NAYNAY 3!" Zero yelled.

GURL I'M TRYNA GET SOME. LET DOWN YO WEAVE." The dude yelled back.

"BOI MAH SHIT NATURAL." Zero said flipping his hair. Out of nowhere X and Axl stopped Zero.

"Zero...I can't breath...how're you making this up?" Axl said between laughs.

"I don't know maybe my inner ghetto fabulousness is coming out" Zero said.

"Make the guys name X." Axl said.

"That's what I was doing." Zero answered. X hid his face in embarrassment.

"I-I'd never do anything like that..." X said stuttering the words out from his red face.

"This is priceless...Keep going Zero." Axl said with more laughter. Zero laughed then continued.

"OH FOREAL GURL YOU EVEN FINER NOW. I'M TEAR THAT UP." X said from the ground. Zero smiled.

"BABY MY DAD GONE HEAR US." Zero yelled out.

"Oh. TWIRK CUTIE NAYNAY LET DOWN YO HAIR." X cried out.

"KAY BABE" Zero then let down his long locks and X climbed it. Getting hair product in his eye as he climbed. Finally X got up to the top. It was then after X got into the room Zero noticed that X was wearing all blue. X was a crypt. Zero was a blood. Suddenly Zero got out his gun and put on a manly voice.

"Boi you ain't tell me you was no crypt." Zero said cocking the gun. X got out his gun too pointing at Zero's face.

"W-Wait...your a man?!" X said.

"Oh fasho baby is that a problem?" Zero said pressing his gun against X's chest. X had then just regretted the last 5 minutes.

"Zero...I don't care if your a man and a blood. For the last 5 minutes all I've been thinking about is *Insert censorship here* in your *blank blank*" Suddenly Zero was interrupted by Axl.

"Why're bleeping out the good parts? And why aren't I in the story?" Axl complained.

"Because you'd make it 80x more ratchet." Zero explained.

"I-I..." X was embarrassed of his character he couldn't even speak. It would be hard to sleep after this. Axl was having the time of his life.

"Aw...bro. Zero...since your the princess does that mean your the uke?" Axl said with a sly smirk.

"I really...really hope your not picturing that..." Zero said.

"Well if you shaved a bit and ... maybe had some heels..." Axl said in thought.

"ANYWAYS." Zero interrupted. Then he continued.

"So after a long moment of silence Zero spoke.

"Boo you really mean that?" Zero said that blushing.

"Mhm gurl." X said.

Out of nowhere their bodies connected and-" Zero was cut off by X.

"E-Erm...Zero can we skip this part." X asked.

"Alright." Zero said with a smirk.

"It was too real for X. He didn't want his business put on blast." Axl said.

"Suddenly Zero's dad came in and saw the two so he beat both of their asses."

"ZERO I TOLD YOU BOUT THOSE CRIPS." Zero's dad yelled out as he got out his belt and beat them. X didn't want those problems so he jumped out the window. Zero never saw him again. 3 months later Zero got pregnant and had a baby. X was like,

"Shoooot it ain't mine"

But eventually Zero hit X with that child support and eventually they got back together. They had a baby named...Shakwanda...and they sold crack for the rest of their lives.

" DON'T SMOKE CRACK MOFUCKER I SELL IT. The end." Zero said finishing the story.

"That story...was ratchet." Axl said.

"I did good?" Zero asked.

"You done good." Axl said giving a thumbs up before yawning.

"Zero. If you ever got pregnant I wouldn't leave you." X said with laughter.

"Better not. I'll hit you with that child support." Zero said smugly. X laughed.

"So Zero. Is this a true story dare I ask?" Axl asked.

"PFFFFT. no. Go to sleep. Y'all need Jesus." Zero said getting under the covers. Zero was finally about to get that good sleep he needed. He felt Axl snuggle up against him. Zero could feel a vien pop. Zero hopped up out of the bed and picked up Axl and carried him to the door and set him outside of it and slammed the door shut fast. Locking it. Just then he got back in the bed and snuggled under the covers. X was already sleep. He was muttering something about something Zero didn't understand. So Zero didn't pay any mind to it. He layed down and closed his eyes to dream about the ratchet story he'd just told.

The end.

* * *

**So yeah. After a series of stupid jokes made this came about. I feel like I owe protoman a good fanfic. because the last couple fics I've made wasn't really Proto friendly XD well mostly I suppose. Anyways next fic is a Proto one. It'll be 5 chapters. So yeah.**


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